Funny biography ideas

Funny Bio for Instagram for Girls. Funny Bio for Instagram for Boy. Similar Posts. Your Instagram bio is the first impression you make on visitors, and when it comes to…. Social Media Toggle child menu Expand. The Punny Bio. The Random Fact Bio. The Pop Culture Reference Bio. The Pet Parent Bio. The Foodie Bio. Keep It Short and Sweet. Use Emojis to Enhance Humor.

Test Out Different Bios for Engagement. Consider Adding a Link with a Funny Hook. Use a Bit of Mystery. Balance Wit with Authenticity. The Straightforward, Honest Bio. Funniest Bios for Twitter. Funniest Bios for Tinder. Funniest Bios for LinkedIn. Funniest Bios for Instagram. Why the Funniest Bios Work. Gifted napper, talker, and ice cream eater.

Humble with just a hint of Kanye. I always learn from mistake of others who take my advice. I apologize for anything I post while hungry I hold the key to success, but someone changed the lock I prefer my puns intended. I ran into my ex today… Put it in reverse and did it again!!! I talk like a baby and I never pay for drinks. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.

He said not to go to those places. I wanted to lose 10 pounds this year. Only 13 to go. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me. I work for money, for loyalty hire a Dog. No, really, I am. I just wear glasses. If a person told you they were a pathological liar, should you believe them? If I could sum up my life in one line I would die of embarrassment.

Instagram bio currently loading Look, birds! Relationship status: Looking for WiFi. You might hit a bump and spill your drink. Making the Snuggie look good since I wish I were an octopus so I could slap eight people at once. I used to be afraid of hurdles, but I got over it. I owe a lot to the sidewalks. I told my friend she drew her eyebrows too high.

She looked surprised. Stop the earth from spinning, I want to get off. It gets better by change. A cement mixer and a prison bus crashed on the highway. Police advise citizens to look out for a group of hardened criminals. Papercut survivor. People will stare. Make it worth their while. I thought I wanted a career, but it turned out I only wanted paychecks.

Did you hear about the guy who dipped his junk in glitter? It was pretty nuts. Do you know sign language? I heard that the post office was a male dominated industry. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. I keep trying to lose weight, but it keeps finding me. The wedding was so emotional even the cake was in tiers. God is really creative.

I mean, just look at me. Often unreliable. Easily distracted. Did you hear about the crime in the parking garage? It was wrong on so many levels. I shot a tiger in my pajamas. Are you a banker? Sarcasm connoisseur. All I ask is that you treat me as though I were Queen. A stick. In some cultures, what I do is considered normal. My hobbies are breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

An invisible man married an invisible woman. Their kids were nothing to look at. How many apples grow on a tree? All of them. I hope one day I love something the way women in commercials love yogurt. The best part of my job is that the chair spins. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing. A man of mystery and power, whose power is exceeded only by his mystery.

Did you hear about the two antennas who got married? The ceremony was nothing special, but the reception was amazing!

Funny biography ideas

Sometimes the M is silent. Do you love me because I am beautiful or I am I beautiful because you love me? Why is itthat everything I love is unhealthy, addicting or has multiple restraining orders against me? Can they not hear the music? If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive. I am not a vegetarian because I love animals.

I am a vegetarian because I hate plants. Everything happens for a reason; unfortunately, sometimes the reason is you. I can totally keep secrets. Some people feel the rain, others just get wet. I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific. My wife and I always compromise. Few women admit their age; few men act it.

If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest? The human brain is one of the most complex objects in the universe. Is it any wonder that so many people never learn to use it? You sound reasonable. It must be time to up my medication! Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons? It gets better by choice.

Stay fit. My kids are at an age now where they are beginning to understand embarrassment. This is my time to shine. My doctor advised me to kill people. Not in so many words, he just said that I need to reduce the amount of stress in my life. I hate peer pressure and you should too.